פרקי אבות- משנה יב

This משנה was said by ר' אלעזר בן שמוע. He lived in the fourth generation of תנאים. רבי was his תלמיד. The גמרא describes him as being a ת''ח השמח יותר מכולם". He lived a very long life. When asked why he was זוכה to live so long, he said that whole life he was זהיר in כבוד הבריות.

מדרש רבה One time, he was on a טיול at the river’s shore. He saw a broken ship in the water and saw a man bobbing in the water. He saw that the man was still alive and he saved him. He took off his coat and covered the body. He carried the body to his home and nursed the man back to health. He gave him some money and returned the man to his city. After many years, the man became great in the Roman government. The government made terrible decrees against כ''י. When ר' אלעזר heard who was responsible for it, he went to the Roman. The Roman recognized him. He got rid of the גזירה and gave him money and ר' אלעזר went back בשלום. It says in קהלת, "שלח לחמיך ע''פ המים..."- if you do a good act, it will come back to help you later on.

The first part of this משנה is an אזהרה to a רבי.

רוח חיים He connects the three parts of the משנה: the nature of a person is to be מקיל בכבוד אחרים. But we must be מכבד others, even more than they deserve. We see from here that every person should be praised more than they deserve. This way if you fall, you will give him the כבוד that he really deserves, but not less.

רע''ב יהי כבוד תלמידך...- משה ר' said, "בחר לנו אנשים". He was משוה the כבוד of his תלמיד to his own כבוד.

רש''י יהי כבוד תלמידך- בדין הוא, it’s obligatory. We know"לכל אדם מתקנא חוץ מבנו ותלמידו" , because he is an extension of yourself. Therefore, a תלמיד טוב is a source of נחת to his רבי. The תלמיד is the סיבת כבוד of his רבי, therefore the רבי must be מחזיר the כבוד to his תלמיד.

ר' ירוחם ממיר "גדולה שמושה של תורה יותר מלמודה"- it is more important for a תלמיד to be משמש his רבי than למודים. Why? Because it’s תורת חיים. If a תלמיד is serving his רבי, the רבי can ח''ו become a בעל גאוה. Therefore חז''ל made a שמירה- יהי חביב עליך תלמידך יותר מגופך.

ר' נחום פרצביץ gave beautiful שיעורים, but he was handicapped. One time, his תלמידים were lifting him out of his wheelchair and he kept saying, "נישט מייענע איז דייענע". He told them that he said this to remind himself as they were rising him that the honor isn’t for him, it is for ה'’s תורה.

ת''י סז- sometimes, the תלמיד in connection to the רבי is as if the רבי found a pearl in its raw state. The תלמיד still has a thick shell, but the רבי polishes it and then its brilliant light can shine forth. Sometimes the רבי has to bring out the beauty of the תלמיד. Therefore, he must pay close attention to the words that his תלמיד says so that he could see what his תלמיד needs to get rid of and what he should build on. Then the רבי will polish him to the utmost, until he can learn from him, as ר' חנינא said, "הרבה למדתי מרבתי ומחברי יותר מרבותי ומתלמדי יותר מכלם", therefore a רבי must respect his תלמיד.

ר' עקיבא איגר’s sons were preparing a compilation of his שאלות and תשובות. They wrote in the הקדמה that their father instructed them to delete the title "תלמידך" from the letters because he would never call anyone his תלמיד, כי מי יודע מי למד יותר ממי?

ר' חיים וולזין came to visit the גר''א on an ערב שבת. The גר''א was having difficulty understanding a certain piece in גמרא and ר' חיים explained it to him. The גר''א said, "הרבה למדתי מחברי ומתלמדי יותר מכלם".

ר' שלמה קלגר מחנכים must remember to teach their תלמידים the מידה of הכנעה- to be מקבל מורים. This is the יסוד of a yid because it trains him in accepting עול מלכות שמים. So a רבי can’t be מותר on his כבוד. יהי כבוד תלמידך חביב עליך- you should be מחביב the כבוד they give you so that you can raise them to be עובדי ה'. A parent is not a friend to their child. There is a line which can’t be crossed.

ר' אלעזר בן שמוע used to sit in the middle of a circle with his תלמידים around him. He was always there before his תלמידים so:
1. They shouldn’t have to move for him.
2. They shouldn’t have to wait for him.

ר' יצחק אלחנן ספקטר, the ר''י in קבנא, was once fahering a boy who traveled for many days to come take the faher. The first thing he asked the boy was if he eat and or slept, and when he heard of the difficult and lengthy journey, he immediately went to prepare food and lodging for the boy before fahering him.

In ר' חיים וואלזין’s ישיבה, there was extreme poverty. Some boys didn’t have shoes, and the winters were very fierce. The בחורים wanted to buy ר' חיים a present, so they bought him a pair of boots. They noticed though that he only wore them when the snow was extremely high and he would shovel a path so that those without boots would have an easier time entering the בית מדרש.

"וכבוד התורה כמורא רבך"- what is the מקור for this?

רע''ב אהרן called משה "בי אדוני" even though he was his younger brother.

The פסוק in משלי says "הוקר רגליך מבית רעך". Why? Because familiarity breeds contempt.

Story- מיר boys and the policeman. ר' ירוחם said that he seriously thought about closing down the ישיבה- how could you allow your friend to go alone with the policeman in the pitch dark. You might have been afraid, but imagine how afraid he was! If would be כדאי to close down the ישיבה if the בחורים don’t show each other respect.

Concern and care are part of כבוד חברים. You aren’t a true friend if you don’t have a deep care and concern for your friends.

ת''י What does it mean to have כבוד with your friends? Not to disagree or contradict them in a hurtful way. Don’t disagree for the sake of a disagreement. Think of how you give it over- that makes all the difference.

עבודת פנים Why does the תנא compare the כבוד necessary for a friend to the כבוד necessary for a רבי? He’s not equating the amount of כבוד that should be given. But there is a common thread here- the same way you aren’t מכבד your רבי so that he will respect you in return, you shouldn’t be מכבד your friend so that he does the same for you.

בינה לעתיים "הרבה למדתי מרבותי ומחברי יותר מרבותי"- you learn more from a friend than from a רבי, so a friend takes on the שם of a רבי. You must show him כבוד and there even has to be some measure of יראה.

מהר''ל What’s the connection between כנסי' לש''ש and the ענון of כבוד חברים? The כנסי' will only be מתקיים if the people have כבוד for each other.

The גמרא speaks about the סורא and פומפדיתא and the כבוד חברים there:
1. When someone walked into the room, everyone would stand up.
2. When there was a מיתה and someone among them tore קריעה, they would all tear.

So אחדות is another strand of כבוד.

We see the opposite by ר' עקיבא though. All of his תלמידים were נפתר in the days between פסח and שבועות. Why? Because they had an עין צרה, they couldn’t fargin when someone else got ahead in לימוד תורה. קנאת סופרים is when you’re מקנא the thing, but they were מקנא the hole person. They didn’t have אחדות. So they all died from whooping cough, which effects their throat which is where the תורה comes from.

גמרא "שקר החן והבל היופי אשה יראת ה' היא תתהלל"-
1. שקר החן זה דורו של משה ויהושע. רש''י- שעסקו תורה הרבה.
2. והבל היופי זה דורו של חזקיהו. רש''י- שעסקו בתורה יותר שבדקו מדן ועד באר שבע ולא מצאו תינוק או תינקת שלא היו בקיאים בהלכות טומאה וטהרה.
3. אשה יראת ה' היא תתהלל זה דורו של ר' יהודה בר אלעי. רש''י- שהיו ששה תלמידים מתכסין בטלית אחת ועוסקין בתורה- they were so poor, but they didn’t use it as an excuse. They learnt מתוך הדחק.

ר' חיים ש. You can only have six people under one טלית if they are sharing and giving to each other. They reached such a great level of אחדות here like they had by הר סיני- where כאיש אחד בלב אחד.

ר' עקיבא saw his תלמידים dozing off. He asked, what did אסתר see that allowed her to endure being married to such a רשע? She correlated herself with שרה. שרה lived 127 years and now she is ruling over 127 provinces.
1. How could ר' עקיבא be teaching to students who were dozing off? They weren’t sleeping because they were bored, they were disconnecting because ר' עקיבא was teaching them things far beyond their reach.
2. How is ר' עקיבא drawing them in with this correlation between אסתר and שרה? He was showing them that there is never anything too elevated from where we stand. A person should hold on to the one thing they can you to connect themselves and reign themselves in.
3. What is the פשט in this correlation? אסתר was in the lion’s den- אחשוירוש was an anti- Semite and a scary person. But אסתר didn’t disconnect. She searched to connect herself to something very celestial and draw herself in. She connected herself to the fact that שרה lived 127 years, and rose above all of her trials and tribulations. אסתר connected herself to this and rose above everything she was faced with.

When ב''י were נהנה from the סעודה of אחשוירוש, the שטן showed ה'. ה' made a גזירה on them to destroy them. אליהו saw this and ran to the אבות and משה. They asked him if it was sealed with טיט or blood. If it is sealed in mud, it can be repealed. But if it is sealed in blood, it can’t be. What is the difference between טיט and blood? טיט represents earth, גשמיות. As long as it is not a part of them and is just גשמיות, it can be repealed. But blood is נפש, symbolizes רוחניות. If it is a part of them, it can’t be repealed.

ר' חיים ש. By מתן תורה, it says כאיש אחד בלב אחד. This is אחדות. So why does the תורה write בלב אחד by this ענין of אחדות? It’s not enough to have just a superficial fondness. The תורה requires that כבוד חברים is in your kishkes, that it comes from the depths of your heart. There shouldn’t be any animosity. You must make sure that it’s a relationship of כבוד and love.

It says in פרשת בהר, "לא תרדה בו בפרך ויראת מאלקיך". פרך means something which cheapens a person. רש''י says that a master may not make his servant to unnecessary tasks which will be מזלזל the עבד. This means even if the servant will never no, that’s why it says "ויראת מאלקיך"- ה' will know whether you really needed it or not.

The איסור here is to make the servant do something you don’t need, thereby cheapening him and even if he doesn’t know that it’s for naught that he toiled.

כבוד חברים is in your heart, you must really feel it in your heart.

"זכור את אשר עשה ה' למרים בדרך בצאתכם ממצרים". There seems to be a כפה ל' here, בדרך and בצאתכם. When you were leaving, it was a time of ecstasy that you were leaving bondage or you could say that maybe מרים wasn’t thinking straight because she was hurrying. But ה' didn’t overlook it. And even thought she spoke about her brother at a time of שמחה, ה' didn’t excuse her. There are no תרוצים what so ever!

You may have the deepest חשבונות, but it doesn’t matter. If you hurt someone, you will pay for it. "ורבת בנים אומללה"- one with many was left with none. פנינה was a צדקת. It pained her to be mean to חנה, but she did it so that חנה would daven harder. Tampering with someone’s feelings, no matter what your חשבון is, is like placing your hand into a burning fire- there are repercussions for your actions.

In the days of the אמוראים, it took a very long time for people to travel. So when someone would go learn, they would go learn for many months. ר' רחומי used to learn for a long time, and he would come home every ערב יו''כ and stay through סוכות. One year, he came home early. Since no one was expecting him, he went up to the attic to learn. He got so busy and he forgot to come down. His wife, who was expecting him, was looking for him and she began to cry. Suddenly, the roof collapsed and ר' רחומי died. We can’t say that this is an עונש מכ''מ, but we can learn out from here that there is a חוק טבעי ומציאותי- if you hurt someone, there will be an effect.

ר' יוחנן was an old man and he had eyebrows that covered his eyes. ר' כהנא once got a מכה to his lip and it healed into a permanent smile. One time, ר' כהנא had to ask ר' יוחנן a question in person. They had never seen each other before. ר' יוחנן thought that ר' כהנא was laughing at his eyebrows and he was very hurt. ר' כהנא died and came back to life again. This is baffling- ר' כהנא didn’t do anything, it wasn’t his fault that his lip was like this and ר' יוחנן thought he was mocking him. Although he didn’t do anything wrong, ר' כהנא was the גורם which made ר' יוחנן downtrodden. If there is a flame, there will be a repercussion.

בנימין caused his brothers to rip their clothing when the גביע was found in his bag. He was innocent, but he was a גרמה על גרמה. Years later, the עונש came out in שושן- מרדכי, the descendant of בנימין, ripped his clothing. We can’t control what isn’t ours to control, but we could have a התבוננות in כבוד חברים (this will lead to זהירות).

רע''ב ומורא רבך כמורא שמים- it is comparing יראת הרבי to יראת ה' and it brings down the following פסוק- "אדוני משה..."- יהושע told משה to kill אלדד and מידד.

ב''י were all complaining together that they only had מן. משה couldn’t deal with this anymore. He told ה' that he can’t do it anymore, so ה' told him to appoint seventy זקנים and he’ll do the process of אצילות- transfer of the nobility of משה onto the seventy זקנים. משה took seventy- two pieces of paper. On seventy he wrote זקן and two he left blank. Everyone wanted an equal number of זקנים from their שבט, so they did a גורל because it’s משמים. משה called on the ראוים, but two people didn’t come. אלדד and מידד didn’t come because they felt that they weren’t ראוי. Immediately they began to be מתנבא. גרשם בן משה heard this and came to tell his father what they were saying-

מ י א ב נ ת מ
כ ה ל ג פ נ ש
נ ו ק ן ש ו ה
י ש י ו ח
ס ע ם







יהושע was there and he said this פסוק because those who are מורד in their רבי, it is like they are פוגע in כבוד שמים.

Sheet V שמעון העמסוני was explaining all the "את"s in the תורה. When he got to "את ה' אלקיך תירא", he said that you can’t attach anything else to יראת ה'. His students said that maybe everything else he said is invalid. שמעון העמסוני said, the same way I got שכר for explaining everything else, I got שכר for stopping here. ר' עקיבא said that the "את" here comes to include יראת ת''ח. Why? Because through them we come to יראת ה'.

טור "כשם שאדם מצוה בכבוד אביו ויראתו כך הוא מצוה בכבוד רבו ויראתו ורבו יותר מאביו שאביו הביאו לחיי עוה''ז ורבו מביאו לחיי עוה''ב ואמרו חכמים ומורא רבא כמורא שמים"- a person must have a greater measure of כבוד and יראה for his רבי than his father.

גמרא סוטה "וילך איש מבית לוי ויקח את בת לוי"- a man from בית לוי (עמרם) went and took יוכבד, his aunt. "... שהלך בעצת בתו. עמרם גדול הדור הי'. כיון שגזר פרעה כל הבן הילוד היאורה תשליכוהו. אמר לשב אנו עמלין עמד וגרש את אשתו ועמדו כולם וגרשו את נשותיהן שלמדו כולם ממעשיו שגדול הדור הי'. אמרה לי' ביתו אבא גזרתך קשה משל פרעה 1) שפרעה לא גזר על הזכרים ואתה גזרת על הזכרים ועל הנקבות 2) פרעה לא גזר אלא אל עוה''ז... 3) פרעה הרשע ספק גזרתו מתקיימת ספק אינה מתקיימת. עמד והחזיר את אשתו, עומדין כולם והחזירו את נשותיהן שלמדו כולם ממעשיו שגדול הדור הי'". ר' חצקל לווינשטין- weren’t there people who didn’t agree with this? We see from there that they were מבטל their דעת to the דעת of their רבי. From this second לקוחין, משה ר' was born. We see from here that they were זוכה to גאולה because they listened to their רבי.

ר' מנדל מורא insinuates a התרחקות. When a relationship requires awe and fear, it requires distance מפני כבוד. אהבה insinuates התקרבות. A relationship with a רבי is compared to the צבא השמים- the moon gets its light from the sun. When the moon moves close to the sun, it gets overshadowed and its light is less. However, when the moon is far from the sun, its light is greater. So too a תלמיד- there is a התרחקות because of the built in כבוד, and he is influenced greatly. When he crosses that line though, there is no השפעה and his brilliance doesn’t shine forth.

At the סדר, a תלמיד who is at his רבי doesn’t lean. A son at his father’s table does lean. R’ Foyer asked his father-in-law, who was also his רבי if he should lean or not. The רבי said, I consider you my son, but our primary relationship is a רבי- תלמיד relationship. He will gain more from this kind of relationship.

גמרא שבת "דרחמים רבנן הווליה בנין רבנן דמוקיר רבנן הוו ליה חתנוותא רבנן. דדחיל מרבנן הוא גופי' הוי צורבא מרבנן. ואי לאו בר הכי הוא משתמען מוליה כצורבא דרבנן"- someone who has a love for רבנים, he will merit having sons who are תורה sages. If you honor and respect רבנים, you will merit having sons-in-law who will be ת''ח. When you fear the words of רבנים, you yourself will become amongst the fire of תורה and become a רבי yourself. If he is incapable of becoming great in תורה, his words will be accepted by all like the words of an erudite ת''ח.

חז''ל י''ח קללות כלל ישעי' את ישראל ולא נתקרבה דעתו עד שאמר להם המקרא הזה- ישעי' said over to כ''י eighteen cursed conducts that the world will experience before משיח. When he reached the eighteenth, which is the lowest, he calmed down. Why? The darkest point is before the break of light. ישעי' saw that they can’t fall any lower than that so he calmed down.

ישעי' sheet This is the eighteenth- every person will say דעות on the other person (how they should have done it…) and the youth will be arrogant and won’t accept the חכמה of זקנים- אילו שקנה חכמה. There will be no מורא הרב and everyone will say דעות on each other. רד''ק- another קללה is that they won’t be able to be subservient. We challenge our parents and מורות. Everyone will be a boss and say דעות and criticize their friends. The youth will say דעות on the חכמים.

רד''ק They won’t be מכניע to people of authority. It can also mean that someone who is מנוער מן המצוות will be מתגאה over those who are full of מצוות, like a רמון is of its seeds. And someone who is נקלה- a person that even the חמורות are קלות for him will be מתגאה over the נכבד- a person that the קלות are חמורות for him.

מהרש''א This doesn’t mean a literal נער or זקן. It means in terms of תורה. ישעי' calmed down when he said this. This קללה is the greatest of רוחניותדיק depravity of man. They can’t fall any lower and the גאולה must come.

Sheet V כ''י is compared to a bird- just like a bird can’t fly without its wings, so too כ''י can’t do anything without their גדולים.

"רב שמוחל על כבודו..."- because if he is מבטל his כבוד, he is מבטל his השפעה on כ''י, thereby being מבטל the קיום of כ''י.

ת''י סט- the מצוות of ה':
1. You can’t question them even when your מחשבה isn’t מתקיים (like the דור of עמרם). We must always remember "שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד". We must always walk around with מורא שמים saddling us. You can’t correct your רבי, even if you think you know better and even if you aren’t in from of him.
2. An אמתה תלמיד is someone who always does what he thinks his רבי would do, as if he is in front of him. If you question your רבי, you are questioning the שכינה.
3. A person must be מחשיב his רבי as if he’s more than a regular man.

גמרא- you can’t sit in his seat and you can’t stand in his place if he has a specific place for davening.

Before חרבן בית שני, there was a מצר around ירושלים and the Romans didn’t let anyone leave. They cut off the food and water supply. The גדולים felt that it was time to go out and negotiate. ר' יוחנן בן זכאי collaborated with אבא סקראי, the head of the בריונים. The בריונים didn’t want to let anyone leave ירושלים, they wanted to fight. The only person they let leave was a מת. So ר' יוחנן בן זכאי pretended to be dead, and he told אבא סקראי (his nephew) to keep them away from him. The בריונים really wanted to check and make sure that ר' יוחנן בן זכאי was dead, but they were משיג the ענין of מורא הרב וכבודו, and since אבא סקראי didn’t want them to pierce the body they didn’t.

It says in מסילת ישרים that הנהגות of טחיסות כבוד הרב are תולדות of the מדת הגאוה which has a negative effect on people. It turns the חכמים backwards and makes their דעת foolish. Even the young בחורים who barely know anything are מתגאה- they think that they are as great as their חכמים. Even the בריונים understood this and were מוסר נפש because of it.