אגרת הרמבן

רמב''ן
• ר' משה בן נחמן
• He lived from 1194- 1270.
• Was a ראשון, and a contemporary of רש''י and the רמב''ם.
• He was a cousin of ר' יונה’s and their children got married to each other.
• He was born during the רמב''ם’s life and outlived him, so sometimes, you will see that the רמב''ם doesn’t answer back to him.
• He lived in גרנה, Spain. At the end of his life he went to א''י.
• He sent this letter to his son. The letter was sent from עכו to קטלוני'. This was a personal letter, but it became public.

אגרת הרמב''ן-

This letter was sent from עכו to קטלוני' to his son to encourage him about ענוה. The רמב''ן told his son to read this letter once a week and teach it to his children. He said they should know it by heart in order to train them from the time they’re young in יראת שמים. The רמב''ן says that at the time you read it and try to be מקיים it, ה' will answer him. Someone who reads it and internalizes it will be saved from צרות and he’ll be a בן עוה''ב.

It says to train a child from the time they’re young. This teaches us that חנוך starts from when a child is old enough to understand, but יראת שמים starts right away. Even if a child is too young to say a ברכה or שמע, you should say it for them. You must jumpstart children from the time they’re young.

It starts with the word "שמע בני...''- listen my son to the מוסר of your father and don’t forsake the תורה of your mother. It could be that the רמב''ן wrote a salutation, but we don’t have it. What we have starts with this פסוק to show us how important it is to listen to parents. When they give you מוסר, it’s only for your own good. The only time you shouldn’t listen to your parents is if they tell you to do something against the תורה. Here, אביך can mean ה' and אמיך can mean כנסת ישראל. There are certain things which כ''י do and you should to them too.

It says, "תתנהג..."- we must speak gently. This is really much more important than we think. It includes the decibel level and tension in our voices. It says, "לכל אדם ובכל עת"- to everyone at all times. We must find the weak link in the chain which would cause us not to talk nicely and work on ourselves not to get tense at them.

Three types of pressures:
1. Physical pressure-
a. Not feeling well
b. Hungry
c. Woman who just gave birth. In the time of the בהמ''ק, a woman had to bring a חטאת after she gave birth in case she said something she shouldn’t have when she was in pain.
2. Emotional pressure-
a. Sad
b. Bad mood- this is not a license to be not nice to people. You must either get out of your bad mood, or tell the person that you’ll talk to them a different time.
3. Time pressure- when you are short on time, you are often mean to people, especially on ערב שבת. Story- ר' מאיר saw two men fighting on ערב שבת and he stopped them. This happened three times. The third time, a voice was heard saying, "וי שהוציאני ר' מאיר מביתי"- this was the יצה''ר. After the third time, the fighting stopped because after you keep putting the יצה''ר down, he doesn’t come back. We see from here that the שטן comes when there’s a fight. The שטן and the שכינה can’t stay together. ר' עקיבא says that a man and woman, איש ואישה, when they are בשלום, ה' is with them. However, when there’s מחלוקת, ה' isn’t with them and אש comes down and consumes. It also says מביתי- this shows us that the שטן makes the house his territory.

If you do this, you’ll be saved from כעס. It’s a bad מידה that makes people sin in many ways:
1. You hurt someone physically.
2. אונאת דברים
3. Embarrass them.

חז''ל say that someone who lets כעס take over him, "כל מיני גיהנום שולטין בו". Why? Because when you get angry, you do so many bad things and you get punished for all of them. It says, "הסר כעס..." and חז''ל say that רעה= גיהנום. How do we know this? It says in משלי, "וגם רשע ליום רעה", and רעה= גיהנום. So if you remove כעס, you’ll remove רעה, which is equal to גיהנום.

חז''ל say that someone who has כעס, it’s like he served ע''ז:
1. ע''ז is listening to a different authority than ה'. When you have כעס, you’re listening to your יצה''ר.
2. When you get angry, you forget that ה' is running the world. Whatever bad happened was meant to happen and whoever brought it onto you was just the שליח. However, we must all remember when we are the שליח, "מגלגלין זכות ע''י זכאי...". חז''ל say, "צדיקים לבם ברשותם ורשעים ברשות לבם"- the שכל of a צדיק guides his emotions, but a רשע’s emotions are led by his heart.

Why didה' make כעס? It can be used for the good. It’s a passion inside of us which can be used in two areas:
1. נגד רשעים- when bad is being done.
2. In חנוך- children will see how important something is based on the passion showed toward it. Does a mother get upset when a child dirties his suit, but not when he misbehaves in school? Passion towards something teaches the importance. The danger of כעס is that it’s like a fire- once you light it, it can’t be controlled. Therefore you must not let it overtake you. It says in מסילת ישרים that you must have " כעס הפנים ולא כעס הלב"- you must have total control. How do you know if you’re in control? When you can be upset for the moment and then move on.

If you don’t have כעס, ענוה will move in. ענוה is the best מידה. When you have ענוה, you’ll have other מידות טובות. It says, "והאיש משה ענו מאד". רש''י explains this to mean that he was a שפל וסבלן. If a person is humble, he has patience. Impatience comes from גאוה. So, if you don’t have כעס, you’ll have ענוה.

If you have ענוה, you’ll have יראה.

לדבר בנחת ← כעס ← ענוה ← יראה

How does ענוה lead to יראה? It says, "הסתכל בשלשה דברים...":
1. מאין באת- מטפה סרוחה
2. ולאן אתה הולך- רמה ותולעה
3. ולפני מי אתה עתיד ליתן דין וחשבון

ה' doesn’t want us to think "כוחי ועוצם ידי..." because when we get full of ourselves, we don’t see ה'. The sun is so powerful and the moon isn’t. But sometimes, the moon can block the sun. Sometimes, something blocks so that we can’t see ה', and we begin to think that the הצלחה we have is because of us. The more ענוה you have, the more you’ll see ה'. It says in דברים, "אנכי עומד בן ה' וביניכם"- the אנכי of a person blocks him from seeing ה'.

We are so small and insignificant, but ה' put some of His greatness into us. So we do have greatness, but we must put into perspective how small we are, especially in contrast to ה'- ה' contains everything! We call ה', "המקום". ה' is מקומו של עולם ואין העולם מקומו- everything is in Him. So, certainly the heart of a person can’t understand ה'. A human being can’t fathom why ה' does what he does. When a person says “I don’t understand why ה' did this”, he is implying that he understand everything else. In the ח''ח’s time, there was a man who went insane and ran around naked. Thirty or forty years earlier, he was a landlord and he kicked an אלמנה and her יתומים out of his home because they couldn’t pay the rent. The ח''ח said that this is the cause of his insanity. The ח''ח says- I didn’t expect to ever understand ה'. If once I understood, it’s unbelievable.

Also ה' says, "הלא את השמים...". We should try to understand, but we shouldn’t think that we could. When we think of these things, תירא מבוראך- we will have יראת ה', ותשמר מן החטא- you will be careful not to be חוטא.

מכתב אליהו sheet- in the תורה, we have the מצוה of "לא תחמד"- don’t want that which someone else has. Some hold that until you actually take the thing from someone else (this includes paying for it, but the person doesn’t want to give it to you), you aren’t חוטא. Others hold that you are חוטא even with the מחשבה of wanting it. But how can one be expected to control their thoughts? Because thoughts are controllable. If you see a bird flying, you may think that it is wonderful to have wings, but you won’t be חומד them because it’s impossible for a human being to have wings. So you are only חומד what is in your realm. Also a peasant isn’t חומד the princess in marriage because he tells himself that it’s impossible for him. So you can control your heart with your mind, it all depends on how you think. So we must look at things differently- everything in this world are just כלים to serve ה'. Every person was given the כלים he needs to accomplish his mission. So if you weren’t given a specific כלי, it’s because you don’t need it.

So if you have יראה and don’t want to be חוטא, and just want to serve ה', you will be שמח בחלקו. We think that being שמח בחלקו means that if we want something and can’t get it, we’ll work on ourselves. But really, being שמח בחלקו starts with not wanting it.

So if we live with ענוה, to be humble in front of other people and be ירא ה', then רוח השכינה וזיו כבודה will come down on us and we’ll get חיי עוה''ב.

Someone who has גאוה thinks that he is better than other people. He is מורד במלכות שמים because he is showing off in ה'’s royal clothing, as the פסוק says, "ה' מלך גאות לבש". We have no right to be בעלי גאוה because we fall short. Only ה' is perfect.

What can we be מתגאה over?

עושר:

Don’t be such a big shot, it’s not you,ה' gives it to you. You must remember to thank Him for it. Once you have money, you must use it. So:
1. Be humble.
2. Thank ה'.
3. Use it.
"ה' מוריש ומעשיר"- ה' makes people rich or poor. Don’t think that it’s you, ה' gave it to you. This פסוק was said by חנה- ה' made her have children and פנינה lose all of her children. She recognized that it’s all in ה'’s hands, it wasn’t that some people can have children and others can’t.

However, we don’t really believe this. Someone who doesn’t have פרנסה, ה' made him like this. It’s not that he can’t do anything right. People who can’t afford what everyone can feel embarrassed because people look down on them and think there’s something wrong with them. People who have a lot of money, it’s because ה' wants them to, not because they’re doing something right. משל- man in the forest who thinks that it was his shot that killed the lion, but really there’s a hunter in the trees. In קדושין, it says that a father should teach his son אמנות קלות ונקיות. But it doesn’t specify which job because אין העניות מן האומנות ואין עשירות מן האומנות. ר' דסלר says that a person shouldn’t do less השתדלות than he’s ready for. This is not because if he does less ה' won’t be able to provide for him, but because it’ll decrease his אמונה. Why do you have to do השתדלות ? It’s a קללה from אדם- you must do something to get your money. Some people think that the more השתדלות they put in, the more money they’ll make. But this isn’t true. It’s a קללה, we should do as little as we could. משל¬- man on wagon who holds his burden the whole time, he’s such a fool! נמשל- ה' is helping us along, the question is what we’ll be able to handle. We must be careful so that it doesn’t lead to כפירה. People can take high paying jobs for themselves, but must realize that it’s not because ה' can’t do it otherwise. This idea liberates a person, because he realizes that it’s not him.

כבוד:

The only real כבוד is כבוד התורה. כבוד belongs to ה'- "העושר והכבוד מלפניך"
1. It belongs to ה' and He gives it out to people.

צרות even out the differences between people. The only כבוד that stays is כבוד התורה. Someone could have been a גבאי and someone else could have been a beggar before the Holocaust, but when they were put in the concentration camps, they were all the same. Let’s forget our differences now, before the צרות come.

2. You must be humble because it’s not you.
3. We must be grateful.
4. We must use it, because if we don’t, we’re worse off than before. We should use it for ה'.

חכמה:

If you’re proud of your חכמה, remember what it says in איוב, "מסיר שפה..."- the speech of believers and the understanding of the elders ה' takes away. If the wrong words come out of your mouth, it’s a humbling and healthy experience. When you say the right thing, realize that ה' put those words into your mouth.

If you see someone without חכמה, realize that it could have been you. The most powerful message is when you see someone who used to have חכמה and lost it, then you realize that it’s not here to stay and that if ה' gave you a mind, you should use it to the utmost for Him. R’ Gifter was a phenomenal speaker. At a certain point, he got sick and couldn’t talk. We see that if ה' doesn’t want you to have it, you won’t. We don’t know how long we have it for. We have so much חכמה that we take for granted, so we don’t even thank ה' for it. Alzheimer’s disease teaches us this lesson. It’s a scary type of forgetting- a person doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to do with a telephone!

Everyone’s equal in front of ה'. He gives gifts to whoever He wants. In His anger He knocks down the high people and if He wants, He raises the low people up. So be low and ה' will raise you up.


How can you become an ענו? Behave like one. ספר החינוך- by the קרבן פסח, it says that you can’t break the bones so that it will remain hole and the גויים will see that we don’t disrespect their ע''ז. According to the ספר החינוך though, it’s to show our אצילות. We don’t break bones to get inside the meat. So we act like royalty and it will affect us- we will feel the royalty.

We know that "אדם נפעל כפי פעולותיו" and "החיצוניות מעורר את הפנמיות". So when we want to change, we should act in the way we would like to be. You can take the cruelest person and put him in charge of giving out צדקה and he’ll become gentle.

So we should act with the posture of ענוה. The פסוק says, "יען כי גבהו בנות ציון...". So don’t stand above everyone else, but think elevated thoughts. Don’t look at a person when you talk to him. Today this is considered a sign of disrespect or dishonesty, so instead you should drop your eyes every few seconds.

Respect every person. If he’s richer than you or smarter than you, respect him because ה' chose to give it to him. You shouldn’t think of your wealth the same way you think of his wealth. But if he’s a poor person or less smart, think that he’s a bigger צדיק then you because his חטאים which would come from these lacks of resources are only שגגות, so he’s more of a צדיק then you. If he has so few כלים, he must be very close to perfection. The חזון איש stood up for retarded people. So we don’t know who is a bigger צדיק- "כי אדם יראה ללב ואדם יראה לעינים".

A human being operates in three areas:
1. Speech
2. Action
3. Thoughts

In all three areas, at all times, speak and act like you are before ה' and it’ll change the way you think.

קש''ע sheet- The first thing you must know is that you’re before ה'- this is a כלל גדול בתורה. The way a person sits, moves and what he does when he’s alone isn’t how he is before other people or a king. When a person is before a king, he is so careful with what he says and does- everything is measured. ה' says, "אם יסתיר איש... אני מלא". When a person remembers this, he’ll be humiliated and act properly.

Additionally, not only the way we relate to ה', also with other people- if you know that ה'’s there, you’ll act differently with other people. We will speak differently and act differently- even in private you’ll sit tzniusly. Additionally, you will control your thoughts. The ח''ח said that if everything we thought was written on our foreheads, we would be so embarrassed. How can we control our thoughts? Think about what you’re busy with. If you’re busy with good things, that’s what you will think about. You can’t think two things in your head at the same time. So if you have a bad עיצה in your head, you can drive it out by thinking about something else.

ודבריך- everything you say will be said differently to others because you are before ה'.

You don’t have to be embarrassed, just be humble.

Don’t shout and yell at people, be like an עבד לפני רבו. Especially don’t yell at your parents, even shout across the house at them.

Be careful to learn תורה so that you can follow it- ולא עם הארץ חסיד. If you don’t know because you don’t pay attention and learn, it’s not an excuse.

When you finish learning, see what you can do to fulfill what you learnt.
Search through your actions every night and morning.

When you daven, try and remove all foreign thoughts from your head. You must prepare yourself to daven. The חסידים and ראשנים used to wait an hour before davening to prepare themselves. משל- being pushed into a pool (flailing until you compose yourself) vs. diving into a pool. "הכון לקראת אלקיך ישראל"- prepare yourself to meet ה'. How?
1. Thoughts
2. Dress- men put on a hat and gartel, woman should make sure they are dressed appropriately. You should dress respectfully. The more you put in, the more you get out.

Sheet-
1. כונה- visualize a target with a bulls eye and your goal is to hit it. You must remove whatever would blow your arrow off course. What is כונה? פירוש המילים. You must know what you are saying. There are other levels of כונה, but we only have to do פירוש המילים.
2. עבודה שבלב- the פסוק says, "ולעבדו בכל לבבכם". חז''ל say on this, "זו היא עבודה שבלב זו תפילה". Why is it called עבודה?
a. Everyone struggles with כונה.
b. It replaces the עבודה of the בהמ''ק- "ונשלמה פרים שפתינו". The אכה''ג set up תפילה because they saw that one day there will no longer be a בהמ''ק. The בהמ''ק was what united all of כ''י. So instead of a place which unified everyone, they established an action that would unify everyone. תפילה is the בריח התיכון of כ''י.
We learn out the times of when to daven from:
a. Morning- "וישכם אברהם בבוקר"
b. Afternoon- "ויצא יצחק לשוח בשדה לפנות ערב"
c. Night- "ויפגע [יעקב] במקים ההוא וילן שמה"
3. עיון תפילה- we say this in אילו דברים. This is one of the things that you can’t get enough שכר for in this world. It is one of the three עבירות that people do every day (in addition to אבק ל''ה).
4. "בחרבי ובקשתי"- the פסוק says, "אשר לקחתי מיד אמורי בחרבי ובקשתי". אונקלוס explains this to mean בצלותי ובבעותי- with my prayers and בקשות. תרגום is telling us that our תפילות are our weapons. The פסוק says, "הקול קול יעקב"- our כח is our voice. Our davening is as powerful as the greatest weapons. תפילה is like a קשת- the closer you pull it to your heart, the further it will go. There are two different kinds of תפילה:
a. Of the אכה''ג- it’s like close combat. It will still work even if you don’t have כונה because the words themselves hold power.
b. Your own, personal words- it’s like shooting an arrow. If it goes even a little off, you will miss the target.
5. מתפלל- it’s a התפעל word, you do it to yourself. Through your davening, you are working and changing yourself. The דברי שבח we say are speaking about ה', but you are really speaking to yourself. We say that ה' is the רופא חולים, not the doctors. If a person has to be sick, it’s because it’s for his best. So why would he daven not to get sick? Because the גזירה was on him, but now that he’s a new person, the גזירה is no longer on him.
6. חסידים הראשונים- they waited an hour before davening. We don’t do this, but before we daven we should think preparatory thoughts.
7. להשמיע לאזניו- בדיעוד, you are יוצא just by saying the words. But really, you should hear yourself.
8. There are three places where you must have in mind what you are saying:
a. פותח את ידיך
b. שמע
c. First ברכה of ש''ע
9. עצות- certain עצות which may help you:
a. יהיו לרצון- at the end of ש''ע, we say יהיו לרצון- we tell ה' that we hope He likes what we’ve been saying up until now. This is an embarrassing statement. If we have remember that we’re going to have to say this at the end, we’ll be more careful with what you think about. R’ Shalom Shwadron said there was a man whose mind was wandering so far and he was in a fruit market and he thought someone was beating him up, but really he was just saying סלח לנו.
b. עמידתו- how you stand. You should stand in a respectful way, in attention, and by ש''ע you should put your feet together. Why?
i. "ורגליהם רגל ישרה" (ישעי')- the מלאכים have their legs together. We want to be like מלאכים because their life’s תפקיד is to be an עבד ה'.
ii. Standing with your feet apart is standing in a position of strength. When you stand with your feet together, you are showing you are being מכניע yourself to ה'.
iii. The idea of having your feet together is that you stopped. You aren’t going anywhere, it’s just you and ה'.
c. ישיבתו- how you sit. It is better not to cross your legs. You should sit in an upright position, you shouldn’t be comfortable- this keeps you thinking. Story- ר' משה became great because he didn’t bring the גמרא to himself, he bent over the גמרא- the more you put in, the more you get out.
d. מקום מיוחד- in shul, you should have a specific seat. This seat even has specific דינים- a son can’t sit in his father’s seat. You don’t have to have one, however a specific seat will help when you daven. It’s as if you’re making a tunnel to ה'. If you change places, you’re making multiple tunnels, thereby making your connection to ה' weaker.
e. זמן מיוחד- a set time helps with your כונה.
f. סביבה טובה- don’t daven where you are going to be distracted.
g. להסתכל בסידור- look in your סדור. Someone once asked for a סגולה and they were told to look inside by bentching.
h. תפילה פרטית- your own personal תפילה, which you can say in שמע קולנו. You can ask for anything, in any language. By the other בקשות, you can ask, but it has to relate to the ברכה and be said in Hebrew. If you need small things, who else are you going to ask besides for ה'? Nothing is too small or petty for Him. Certain things really shouldn’t be important to you, but if they are, only ה' can help you. The משך חכמה said the תפילה set up by the אכה''ג is like a חרב- it’s sharp in itself and it doesn’t need much direction. But an arrow depends on the aim- the כונה and power you put into it.

Booklet:
מה- the ח''ח gives a guarantee for תפילה: you must look in the סדור, and definitely by ש''ע. But this doesn’t mean that you’ll be 100% protected just from looking in. עצה- think about what every paragraph is saying before you start it. This isn’t a big delay, it’ll just take a few seconds. You shouldn’t say the ברכות as הרגל, you should think about it. It should come בזריזות and בשמחה. Not only is it ד''א, it’s also כונה.
מו- if you catch yourself and see that you haven’t been having כונה, how can you keep yourself to still have כונה? משל- a girl is selling vegetables in the marketplace. A bully causes all of her vegetables to spill and they are being grabbed. A פקח tells her to grab what she could, too. נמשל- we are the girl and the יצה''ר is the bully. We should grab whatever we could. We get lazy and lose a lot of תפילה, but we should grab what we could and not get discouraged.
מח- ר' משה says three things:
1. Look into the סדור.
2. Remove all foreign thoughts before davening.
3. Think about something you saw in nature and be appreciative of ה'.

k. אם בא מחשבה זרה באמצע התפילה- postpone the thought and get yourself on track. Don’t keep davening with something else on your mind.

With everything in life, think before you say anything in this life of הבל הבלים, and then we won’t be חוטא. You must think before you do anything, and then you won’t be חוטא. Think before you speak, act and react and your davening will be pure. There will be no weights hanging it down- it will be clear, clean and directed. If you aim right, it’ll be received on the other side. It says in תהלים, "תכין לבם (כונה) תקשיב אזניך (קבלה)".

שם עולם-

The ח''ח wrote about anything he saw a problem in. This ספר is for people with no children and for people who lost their children in a רוחניותדיק way.

There is ירידת הדורות. Some people refute this and say that we are so much smarter and more civilized that the previous generations. Proof of this are all the חכמות we have that they didn’t. They could have made these, but it wasn’t necessary. Now that it’s necessary, it was invented. משל- תלמיד who understands in the beginning is smarter. The earlier generations knew, but now that we don’t get it, it has to be explained to us. It is talking about אמונה- as it dwindles, the inventions keep us on track.

1. Telescope (Galileo)- people always knew that ה' sees you, but after a while this recognition got a little weaker so ה' made the telescope, allowing people to see far. "אם יוצר עין לא יביט"- if your eye could see so far and ה' created it, don’t you think that He can see far? It says in פרקי אבות, "דע מה למעלה ממך... עין רואה".
2. Telephone (Alexander Graham Bell)- all of the sudden you could hear someone in the next city, country and even in outer space! People don’t really think that ה' hears them, but "הנטע אוזן הלא ישמע"- if you could hear far, can’t ה'?
3. Photography- before, all you could do was tell someone about something in the past, but you couldn’t show them. Now, you can age, but a picture never changes. This is how it is in שמים- when you go up, you will see a picture of everything you did wrong.
4. Phonograph (Thomas Edison)- a person could be separated from his voice- you could keep someone’s voice even when they’re gone. A person could even be dead and you’ll still have his voice!

The ח''ח said, "דע מה למעלה ממך "- do you want to know what’s going on in שמים? ממך- through yourself. ה' gives us things down here to help us understand.

Read this letter once a week and don’t do less than what it says and you’ll be following the ways of ה'. If you do what it says, you’ll go to עוה''ב that is set aside for צדיקים. If you read this letter, everything you ask for will be answered.