תוכחה לתלמיד צעיר

This was written in 1940, in the middle of World War II, by R’ Dessler. He was the ר''י of Gateshead, and then Ponevezh. He is famous for his ספר, מכתב מאליהו.

He loves his תלמיד in a spiritual way, more than just physically. He feels like the תלמיד is ממש like his own child and he loves him. Since he loves him so much, he knows that the מוסר is coming מתוך אהבה.

We don’t like to hear מוסר, but we must understand that the people who love us give us מוסר because they care.

"טובה תוכחת מגלה מאהבה מסתרת"- it is good to get outright מוסר when it comes from love deep inside.

We see how to be a רבי- he hints to his תלמיד, to try and let him understand on his own.

ר' דסלר had צער- I wrote such a long letter and you know that it’s not easy. However, you didn’t write back one word of thanks. Not because I need your thanks, but because I love you. Are you going to be an ungrateful person? חז''ל say, "כל הכופר בטובת חברו לבסוף כופר בטובתו של ה'"- anyone who denies the good their friend does will deny the good ה' does.

You started your letter without any thanks, and all you said was that I forgot to answer one of your questions.

ר' דסלר says that if he would compare your letter to ארי’s, you would see how lacking your letter is of הכרת הטוב. But maybe he shouldn’t compare! Comparison is very good, it pushes a person to grow. Because we are so fragile today, we can’t take comparisons. You must know your students. ר' דסלר knew his תלמיד and he had a lot of faith in him.

He says that it’s impossible that you have such a חסרון in ד''א, and I know my words mean a lot to you so how could you not thank me?

ר' דסלר reread the letter to try and read between the lines. He decided that the תלמיד must’ve been busy or בצער when he wrote the letter. However, it’s a huge חסרון to have בלבול הדעת. If you have בלבול הדעת, the יצה''ר will rule over you.

In מצרים,פרעה made them so busy with work so that כ''י wouldn’t have time to think about גאולה. This is a prototype of a person and the יצה''ר. ר' דסלר told his תלמיד , usually you have a large portion of מנוחת הנפש (the opposite of בלבול הדעת), but now you are so confused that you forgot to thank me.

We think that we can’t control the world around us. But we have tremendous control- we can’t change the world, but we can control ourselves.

Why didn’t you write to me about your friend who is becoming not frum? I know you’re straight in your heart and you have אמונה, but bad friends are dangerous even to the best people. "הרחק משכן רע", not only if you’re a weak person. Had you read my letter with proper intention, it would have been impossible that you would not have responded something about your friend because it was of interest to me. This is a further proof that you had בלבול הדעת.

Therefore, because I love you, I found myself obligated to give you מוסר. Know my child, this is not the right way to be an עבד ה'. Watch out from בלבול הדעת, it destroys עבודת ה' Be מחזק in yourself a feeling of הכרת הטוב. This will enrich your life. ה' will give you הצלחה and you will became close to Him and be a ירא ה'. He’ll give you your חלק in His תורה, He’ll raise you high and He will exalt you more and more.

Be at peace, my beloved one. It should come upon you ברכת שמים from now and forever. Send regards to your brother and family, ה' ישמרם ויצילם (very applicable because it was during WWII). I who signs off with great love, your רבי, א א דסלר

The fact that ר' דסלר remembered to send regards to his brother and family shows that he didn’t have בלבול הדעת.